Publicly Private

direct and vague, sweet and ironic

Back to Cali June 27, 2008

Filed under: Travel — jnieva @ 2:24 am
Tags:

oceanside

Plane tickets bought.

Car rental booked.

Family notified.

I’m going back to Cali. I can’t wait to go back home.

(more…)

 

Argh June 16, 2008

Filed under: Mood — jnieva @ 4:12 pm
Tags:

argh

I am so irritable today.

 

Philippine National Day June 12, 2008

Filed under: General — jnieva @ 2:22 pm
Tags:

pinas

June 12th is also known as Philippine Declaration of Independence, Independence Day, and Flag Day.

It makes me wonder… is the Philippines really FREE?

 

Coughing is sexy June 11, 2008

Filed under: General — jnieva @ 8:51 pm
Tags: , ,

tissue box

I am so sick. It started out with a sore throat on Friday. Spent the weekend blistering in our house with broken A/C (it has since been fixed). Then my nose started to get congested. Got caught in the downpour and spent 2 hours in soaked clothes on Monday. I woke up to the melody of my coughing. Today I caved and stayed in bed.

I hate being sick in the summer. It’s hot and sticky and so are the things coming out of my nose and mouth. Yes, it’s gross but I didn’t invent phlegm. I should be out there with my friends on patios and attending parties but nooooo, I’m cooped up indoors watching daytime TV in my jammies and doing shot after shot of cough syrup.

I really hope this cold goes away soon. Pass the tissue.

 

Still here June 10, 2008

Filed under: General, Mood — jnieva @ 10:07 pm
Tags:

A woman walks down the stairs in the old city of Jerusalem

 

I haven’t disappeared. Life’s gotten a bit busy. Good busy.

 

Cue fangirl squeal June 2, 2008

Filed under: Entertainment — jnieva @ 3:09 am
Tags: , ,

 

I cannot wait for this movie.

 

K squared May 27, 2008

Filed under: Family — jnieva @ 2:24 am
Tags: , ,

sept 2007 027

 

I love surprise visits, especially from these two monkeys. There’s nothing like their laughter and silliness, morning snuggles and afternoon naps. With them, life is about swing sets and scooters, toy cars and bike rides, ice cream and sunshine.

 

Back again May 21, 2008

Filed under: Life Lessons — jnieva @ 4:24 am
Tags: , ,

 

7 months ago, my life changed. It went from bad to worse to scraping the bottom of the barrel to weekly visits to the hospital. I lost so much but gained equally as much from the experience. When I thought I was alone, I was proven wrong by the most relentless and determined saviours (you know who you are). I only needed to open my heart, my eyes, and let myself be completely and utterly vulnerable. Most importantly, I let myself be loved - flaws and all.

 

I’m much better now. Thank you so much.

 

Unmotivated May 16, 2008

Filed under: Baking, General — jnieva @ 4:41 pm
Tags: ,

IMG_0787

 

I have a million things to do. OK, not really a million but enough to keep me busy for the rest of the day.

 

I need to:

  • Bake 2 cakes (chiffon cake with vanilla buttercream and raspberries / chocolate chip banana bundt) and a batch of cookies (crispy salted oatmeal white chocolate)
  • Fold the laundry
  • Pack for this weekend
  • Wrap birthday presents

 

But I don’t have the motivation to do anything! I just want to hang out with Milkshake and sleep the afternoon away. I can’t help it if he’s so cuddly.

 

I always do this. Procrastinate until I’m stressed and rushed and I’m forgetting things. So after this post, I’m going to tackle at least one. Maybe that will get the ball rolling.

 

Apprehensive May 15, 2008

Filed under: Mood — jnieva @ 3:24 pm
Tags: , , ,

IMG_3009

Having this blog scares me.

 

For over five years, I’ve kept a private blog accessible only by people I know. I knew everyone that read my thoughts, viewed my photos, and witnessed my highs and lows. It was my security blanket - safe and secure. A place where I received immense support, fostered good conversations, and met genuinely wonderful people I now call friends.

 

But this place is something new. Bare and open, there is nowhere to hide. What is written here can be read by anyone, seen by everyone. If you know me, you may also know that I’m quite private. Not private in a way that no one knows anything. But private in a way that you don’t really know what makes me tick. It’s not that I try to be mysterious. I just hold my cards very close to my chest. Only a few people know what actually goes on with me. Again, it makes me feel safe.

 

Am I paranoid much? Yes.

 

I’m trying to change that. You see, I’ve always had a slightly paranoid personality. Maybe it’s because I’ve moved around so much. New homes, new schools, new people, new rules. Never really knowing what I’m walking into. My paranoia is the result of acclimation, self preservation, survival, and not putting roots down.

 

But at this point in my life, I realized that I have put roots down. Amazing friends, unwavering family, and the best partner I could ever hope for. My life is rooted in good things. I don’t have to be paranoid about that part of my life. Life will always throw me some curve balls, crack my cheesecake, or deflate my souffle, but I can’t keep on being scared of it.

 

Knowing that and owning that knowledge, I can share my life with less fear. I’m going to throw the curtains open and let some sunshine in. If you are so inclined, take a closer look.